Monday, May 25, 2009

Small in Japan


Baby and I just spent the week in Tokyo … in what remains of the Edo Period’s red light district … namely Yoshiwara … the true gutter of Tokyo … bums and madmen … rows of vending machines with men obsessively checking each returned-change pocket just in case … just in case … scavengers … all men … the only women there are beautiful … beautiful because they’re paid to be, or beautiful because they’ve survived … sitting at the end of the bar, the oldest one there, history stamped on her countenance. At night the men line the arcade, some drinking, some too drunk to keep drinking, some in eye glasses, moustaches, reading, like they just left a lecture hall, all lined up together with their cardboard and their blankets and awnings … they sleep early … why is that?
One night we went to the seediest bar we could find … it was just like my teens when I’d seek the lowest, most profound amongst us … it was just the same, but in Japanese … the emotion, the wild mood swings, the love and the violence … and the stink and the alcohol and the crescendo of insistence … in something … I couldn’t understand, but I knew the routine … we left as a fight was starting … same old story.
I loved that place, I’d like to stay a while ... all those humans.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Everything


I finished … the end … 3 times tonight … but I kept going … fool I am … a sketch …. done …. goddamn I’d love to draw with you … bravado aside, I’m shy as a motherfucker … hiding, behind make-up and a lack thereof … I know the rules … how to rule the masses, the world, my oyster; a piece of cake, let them eat, but goodgoddamn … nothing, yes, nothing. I’d love to be me … infront of you.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Coming soon


Just in case I die tomorrow … on the way to seeing you … just in case … my happiest moment … that room in Kyoto … waiting for our friends … our friends … that beautiful room … Richard Hawley played … “Danny” … while my heart was silently filling … and the room filled with that music, and it was you and me, waiting to start our life together … tears … at last, tears of happiness.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

I’ve been nice


I’ve been nice … all day … I got out of your way in the doorway … apologized in emails even though it was your fault … I lowered my eyes when I started mentally undressing you … I turned the music down, I smiled even though I knew one day we’ll all be dead … I’ve been nice … the patience of a saint … after midnight though … when the day is done … I’d like you to meet Mr Edward Hyde … to introduce you to Mr Johnnie Walker … Mr Thriller is just around the corner, it’s the man in me … I’ve been polite … now I’m full of want.

Saturday, May 02, 2009

The youth preservation society


To start with ... youth … Baby calls them vegetarians … that’s just right … vegetarians … youth … the trouble with youth … they don’t have any aggression … no balls … no insatiable urge to get into shit … they have an inherent urge to be okay … to be without the anger that destroyed my generation … to be without fire … to be above it all … to be what we should have been but couldn’t … they just don’t have the balls … the trouble with youth … no self-destruction.

I’ve been reading … Celine … he writes … he writes like this … with ellipses … fragments … like pieces that make a whole … analatycical cubism … it catches on quickly … fast … you read … then think … then blog that way.

The cereal box … yesterday … it was Kellogg’s … Kellogg’s Honey Crunch Corn Flakes … I had nothing to say … like when you’re in a rhythm … thrusting … eyes wide … caught … like a dog humping, ridiculous and urgent … wide eyed, transfixed idiothumping … notimegoodidiothumping

Friday, May 01, 2009

Profoundless


$5000 to the first person who can guess what cereal package I drew this on the back of.