Several years ago I was in the men’s room in Penn Station in New York. The urinal was one long, stainless steel trough with no partitions, long enough to accommodate about 20 men. I took the most free spot and started organizing the dormant Mr Thriller to pee when I noticed some commotion to my right. Men were hurriedly stuffing their trousers and scurrying away and I saw a man at the other end running his hand up and down his penis. By the time he had it to its full length everyone had vacated the area except me, and he was calling after them “You see it, don’t you? You see me doing it!” He had an enormous smile and he looked really pleased.
I was defiant, and I stood there facing the wall, determined to do my business. But I couldn’t. I waited, I concentrated, I tried not to concentrate, but I couldn’t pee. I can’t remember if I ever had men’s’ stage-fright before, but I definitely had it after that episode.
I have made an amazing discovery though; a Nobel Prize worthy discovery … I think I have cured men’s stage-fright. If you’re a man, or if you know a man, please read this.
Now, when I feel stage-fright coming on, I think of the Buddha. Yes, the Buddha. I visualize him, with his happy face and big belly, and I can pee. I can’t for the life of me remember how I came to this discovery. I know, over time, I tried various things to think about, and various techniques, and this was one of them, but I just can’t remember why on earth I would decide to try thinking of the Buddha. I haven’t been in a situation as dire as a masturbating stranger yet, so I’m not sure if it works in extreme circumstances, and I’m also not sure if it’s just me because I have a certain innate reaction to the Buddha, but it’s worked for years, so I think it’s a pretty good discovery. This is not a joke, by the way, and it doesn’t contain an indirect hidden message, so please try it and tell me how you get on.
I was defiant, and I stood there facing the wall, determined to do my business. But I couldn’t. I waited, I concentrated, I tried not to concentrate, but I couldn’t pee. I can’t remember if I ever had men’s’ stage-fright before, but I definitely had it after that episode.
I have made an amazing discovery though; a Nobel Prize worthy discovery … I think I have cured men’s stage-fright. If you’re a man, or if you know a man, please read this.
Now, when I feel stage-fright coming on, I think of the Buddha. Yes, the Buddha. I visualize him, with his happy face and big belly, and I can pee. I can’t for the life of me remember how I came to this discovery. I know, over time, I tried various things to think about, and various techniques, and this was one of them, but I just can’t remember why on earth I would decide to try thinking of the Buddha. I haven’t been in a situation as dire as a masturbating stranger yet, so I’m not sure if it works in extreme circumstances, and I’m also not sure if it’s just me because I have a certain innate reaction to the Buddha, but it’s worked for years, so I think it’s a pretty good discovery. This is not a joke, by the way, and it doesn’t contain an indirect hidden message, so please try it and tell me how you get on.
5 comments:
I can pee anywhere, under any circumstances, but I'm a girl and it's easier for us.
Mostly I'm commenting to say I love the name "Mr. Thriller".
Made me giggle.
I got the name Mr Thriller from "Pimp: the Story of My Life" by Iceberg Slim (aka Robert Beck). I got a lot from that book.
I haven't been propositioned in a public lavatory for about 18 years, but next time it happens I shall put your advice into action.
Quilty, I've seen the public lavatories in you neighborhood - not fit for even the basest deviant! Good luck all the same.
What I ACTUALLY said, was, "WORSHIP AT THE ALTAR THAT IS MY GIANT MEAT SNAKE!"
That was YOU at the other end????
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