Hurry tomorrow

Wrong design is happy to announce we will be formally backing Barack Obama to be president of the United States. After careful consideration, I think his wife would make a really good first lady.
I was excited thinking Bush II would be leaving this year, but then I realized he won’t be out till Jan 2009. I guess there’s still a little time to make some smart investments in mortuaries in the Middle East. Then I started thinking maybe someone will kill him before then, and then I realized he has the perfect security against assassination – Dick Cheney. What could be worse than Bush II as US president? Dick Cheney. How clever, they really thought of everything. I also realized for the first time that together they are “Bush & Dick”. That’s funny, right? Why did I never see that before?

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This is drawn from photos of “the Palace”, my favorite restaurant till it closed down and became a real estate office. I don’t know what it was really called – we used to call it the “Gangster’s Palace” because it was full of working guys – sweaty men with no shirts on eating in a run-down hole-in-the-wall, just like the great HK movies they used to make before 1997 when China asked the film industry not to produce anything that made it look like the police didn’t have a firm and trustworthy hand on society.

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My illustrious cold has developed into a persistent, dry cough. I know the routine well. This will subside into an annoying little cough that seems to hang around for weeks. Soon my body will pass the barrier from fighting into healing, and I’ll be full of ambition and an urgent need to impregnate my wife. That, and seeing enormous lumps of what I imagine to be ambergris coming out of my body, are my favorite parts.

Beginning to see the light

I started a new game of Dynasty Warriors tonight. I decided, before I started, that I’d try a new strategy, just for fun. I decided to be as aggressive as possible, and not to be sentimental, and to forget my usual practice of not taxing the peasants. After a couple of games Jinuan Sanjae got captured. I killed the guy who captured him, then went on to destroy the whole empire that was associated with the battle, even though it was at the expense of other areas I controlled. I got Jinuan Sanjae back and it felt good. All along the way I kept pushing the peasants for more and more taxes to fund my campaign, to the point where Da Qiao actually suggested forced labour (an option I’d never seen before) – but I figured this would lead to revolt so I didn’t choose it.
Anyway, I had a great time and I was pretty successful, so I’d just like to apologize to the Bush administration. I didn’t realize before what a kick it is, and how profitable it is, to make a sacrifice here and there, all for the benefit of the key players.
All this awesome killing has left me with a new perspective on world events. I just hope it’s not too late to get a piece of the action.

Getting uneven

This is the one picture I managed to draw of my baby-doll in 2 weeks. Now she’s gone to NY and I can revert to different kinds of long, drunken nights of frenzy.

I have a new ambition now: to work for George W. Bush. Imagine the power. You can fuck anyone up and never, ever go to jail. Now that Johnnie Cochran is dead, a man needs some kind of unfair advantage when going about his business.