
I just can’t seem to drink this off my mind.
Unadulterated self absorbtion

Baby arrives tomorrow. I’ve bleached down the bathroom and kitchen … sterilized them. I haven’t fixed much yet … just breaking things down … opening walls. My crown achievement has been replacing the front door handle. I feel like I’m in a race somehow to take over this house … and if I’m too slow the previous tenants will overtake the house again. It doesn’t make sense, but that’s how it feels. There is a refrigerator downstairs that is still full of food … its amazing … I want to take a photo of it but it’s too dark. There are glass containers where the metal top has disintegrated. You can’t smell it unless you open the door, and when you do its pretty rank. I emptied a closet yesterday … an old trunk full of belts, blankets, Pepto-Bismol and things. I started putting my foot out the door just in case some ghost force shut the door on me and trapped me in the closet.

. I can’t stop musing on these. As the piles of garbage get thrown out, some key items remain – heavy things, very dirty things, hard to remove things, useful/interesting things. A 34 year-old pornographic magazine must be worth something on eBay. It’s very charming and nostalgic with its cigarette ads and very hairy private parts.