Hail to the chef

Last Tuesday was one of the most exciting days of my life. This was partly due, of course, to that magical moment when I knew Barack Obama had been elected and the weird kind of intimate frenzy that grew within me watching his speech. Less monumental, but more exciting, was my setting the kitchen on fire, which led to an explosion. This was my first uncontrolled explosion and it was scary as a motherfucker. Nobody got hurt, but it took me 2 days to clean and repaint the kitchen. Afterwards I felt fully awake, tingly, like nothing physical existed anymore.

Damned if you don't

I’m going back to Old Lady Manhattan on Friday. If Obama doesn’t win on November 4th I’m taking over.

The end of an error

This is the last page in a sketch book I’ve had since college (it’s about 15 years old). I’ve been filling up every blank page until now, when I can put it away and move onto the next book.
In celebration of this landmark, the world is slowly starting to feel secure that they can also actually bid a stony farewell to the Bush administration. Now I know how the men in the trenches in WWI must have felt when they were told the war was over, after having spent a year knee-deep in water in the same trench, in the same insect-ridden clothes, with the same hideous task. The future is bright. It’s so bright it’s almost unnerving. Think, when Obama is president, it’ll be like taking a weekend off and really cleaning your kitchen properly. It’ll be like getting sick and then getting better because you took the right steps. It’ll be like shooting a load into the gut of the girl or boy of your dreams. It will be like nirvana when Obama is president.
I can’t wait; let’s start the momentum of progress immediately. Let’s change.

Good riddance the past, I never liked you anyway.

Eyes for eyes

I’ve been very angry recently. No reason, it’s just in my blood I think. I’ve been drunk for about a week, working, not sleeping to alleviate it. Exhaustion brings peace and calm.

Because it’s the 5th birthday of the Iraq war, everyone’s talking about it, especially the cost and the body count. The costs are phenomenal, and I’m thinking, what the hell have I been doing for the last five years? I should have set up an ammunitions factory in China, or a funeral home in Iraq – there’s just so much opportunity I’ve missed. Staying in my field, I could have even bid for the job of designing the new Iraq flag (or do you have to be associated with Cheney to get these contracts?) What ever happened to that flag anyway? I remember they released a new Iraqi flag about a month after Iraq “fell” then someone complained it looked too much like Israel’s flag, and then I never heard of it again. That happens a lot with news. Do you remember Yasir Arafat? He was the leader of Palestine, then one day he got sick, then he died with no explanation. That was suspicious, right? It wouldn’t have been, except absolutely no newspaper ever mentioned that it possibly could be suspicious. It’s like no paper ever mentions Barak Obama is half black, or Hilary Clinton is a female. They pretend it is just two people, because we’re not supposed to care who is what sex or colour, but in reality it is pretty exciting.
Speaking of Obama; Wrong design will now like to formally rescind our backing for him to become the next president of the United States. I was thinking today, George Bush should have been impeached when the US invaded Iraq. I understand it’s a pretty big deal and there was an uncertain feeling, so I forgive the public for hesitating; but when the public re-elected him, I really lost all compassion for them, and I think I have to hold them more than a little responsible for the outcome. That’s why I think Barak Obama is too good to be the next president. Instead I think Dick Cheney should be president for at least 8 years. America shouldn’t get off so easy, they should stick it out, till there’s nothing left of the country except a heavily fortified White House with a golden temple in the garden housing the chief executive of Halliburton and a couple of other elite cronies.
Another option: Barak becomes president, then everyone who voted to re-elect Bush gets lined up and shot.