Hail to the chef

Last Tuesday was one of the most exciting days of my life. This was partly due, of course, to that magical moment when I knew Barack Obama had been elected and the weird kind of intimate frenzy that grew within me watching his speech. Less monumental, but more exciting, was my setting the kitchen on fire, which led to an explosion. This was my first uncontrolled explosion and it was scary as a motherfucker. Nobody got hurt, but it took me 2 days to clean and repaint the kitchen. Afterwards I felt fully awake, tingly, like nothing physical existed anymore.

Damned if you don't

I’m going back to Old Lady Manhattan on Friday. If Obama doesn’t win on November 4th I’m taking over.

Election fever

There was no one at the election building when I went to vote on Sunday. Just me, about 14 officials and one police officer. I'm getting more and more confident I can win next time. I also got a letter from the SPCA today asking members to nominate people for the Executive Committee election. I'm seriously thinking of nominating myself for this too. I don't know what such people do, but I want to win it.

It's good to be District Councilor

I’m excited, this weekend we have elections in HK. I still remember the first time I voted; I was in 6th form in London and I voted for the Green Party. I had no idea who was running for the Green Party or what they planned to do, but I knew it was the cool party to vote for. This weekend I will vote for ‘the Democratic Party’ (not to be confused with another party called the ‘Democratic Alliance for the Betterment of Hong Kong’). Their leader is Martin Lee. When I came to Hong Kong I asked my new friends who they admired the most, and everyone always said “Martin Lee”. Later I got a job to photograph him. When I showed up at our designated meeting spot, the parking lot of the HK Legislative Offices, I realized I had no idea what he looked like, so I stood with my camera out and made eye contact with every man over 40 I saw, until one of them acknowledged me. An important lesson – always know who you are photographing, and try to remember their name if you can. He was an amazing guy, he knew the daughter of an HK painter I admired (turned out the daughter was Anson Chan, possibly the most famous woman in HK who isn’t a pop star, I really need to do my homework). He took me around the court and various offices and we took photos and we went up to the roof - literally on the slanted, tiled roof with nothing between a slip of the foot and certain death. He said he liked to go up there to think. I wasn’t worrying about me dying, but I was really worried about him dying, it would have looked really bad if the most beloved man in HK died while I was photographing him. Neither of us died and the photos were amazing, this man could strike a pose at the drop of a hat, a real pro.
So anyway, this weekend we’re voting for the District Council members. These are the people who watch over our individual regions in HK and make sure the trash gets picked up on time and the road works go ahead. We’re not actually allowed to vote for anyone with power in HK. There is a vote for our leader, but the people who vote are hand-picked by the Chinese government, so it’s really difficult to win unless you are also hand-picked by the Chinese government (though I’m sure it might be possible somehow). The last time he ran for office, ex-Chief Executive Tung Che Hwa spent a million HK dollars on his campaign, even though there was no one running against him. He just had to go through the motions, otherwise it would have looked really bad, I guess.
Because it’s pretty pointless, politics is pretty lackluster in Hong Kong. The government is pretty efficient and has sent me a letter telling where to vote, when to vote, and who my two options are (only 2!). I’m now seriously considering running next year (do they have them every year? I should check that out). I really want to be a leader, I really want the power. At first I thought I might be too morally bankrupt and incompetent, and my opponents would expose me immediately, but then I quickly remembered – this is politics, dummy.

I just have one question that I’ve been dragging around with me for years – after I win, should I cultivate society, or enslave it for my raucous pleasure? I can never figure this one out. People are senseless, horrible things, and if you give them a break they just abuse everything and it all goes to hell. The last thing you want is for them to govern themselves. And they’re just masses of corrupted, fleshy animals anyway. However, you could argue that hundreds of thousands of years of mismanagement and misdirection has left the human race a little regressive; a tad spiritually reticent. I like people, they’re probably my favorite things after romance and art. I just don’t know what to do with them all.