I went to the vigil for the 20th anniversary of the Tiananmen massacre two days ago … I was surprised … in recent years it has been so quiet … but this time … even the subway had police … even 2 stops away, there were crowds unable to get on the trains … the first time I went … I’ve never been so frightened … the first time I went … 1997 … how many was it? … 150,000 people? … I lost count … I got there early … I was keen … I’d never seen so many people … all in unison … it frightened me … all together … usually the scary things happen too fast … but that day … it was hours … all those people … I was terrified … if I screamed, they all would have turned … so I held my breath … I forgot why I was there … all I could think was … all those people, how frightened I felt … if they turned, I wouldn’t stand a chance.
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