Don't trust anyone over 30

I gave a job interview today. I had on my best Alan Sugar but I don’t think the kid had seen that show so he just talked naturally. He had a bit of an edge and seemed to be certain about what he said. I liked it. I took a good, long look at myself before drawing tonight. I realized I don’t look anything like Johnny Depp. I realized my great new haircut doesn’t actually change anything. I looked tired, old and drunk. I realized I can’t keep living in a fantasy imagining every little girl wants me just by passing me on the street. I realized I need to start cultivating a more eccentric character to compensate for my diminishing natural appeal. I realized I need to start looking for cool wigs and start wearing make-up again. I realized I can never be real again. I must become an icon.

I can be a winner

I watched "the Apprentice UK" for the first time yesterday so I could see what your hero and mine, Andrew Collins, is rattling on about. All day I've been in imaginary conversations with Sir Alan Sugar. I've been weighing my words carefully, rewriting the arguments of the contestants like I generally would in day-to-day life when I pretend to be in different situations; it's a brilliant platform.

This is one of hundreds of the "Barber Shop" pictures, of the shop I used to have to pay my rent to when I lived in the gutters of Sai Ying Pun with those cool Indian kids and odd Filipinos.