I was at the hairdresser’s today contemplating how I could achieve global domination. I think it will be easy enough to become king of the world; pretty much all the leaders suck and nobody really likes them. There is the problem of all the religious groups though. I thought of setting up a new religion that is better, but these people are so delirious with their own gods it’s going to be such a lot of work to wean them away. Then I realized, all I need to do is discover a new planet that supports life. Then, I will tell them all that their god comes from this planet. Then, presumably, they will all rush over there and within a few months they’ll all kill each other. Sound a little harsh? Well, don’t blame me that they’re all a bunch of fucking idiots. I’m just trying to help.
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