Virtually true love

Anyone who knows me will tell you there’s nothing I like better than a night of rum and Cokes and playing “Dynasty Warriors” or “Samurai Warriors”. Tonight I passed the 60 hour mark on “Samurai Warriors” and unlocked the character of Nene after completing all the levels of the story of her husband Toyotomi Hideyoshi. This is significant because Nene has the (2nd) best ass in the virtual world. Traditionally, Zhen Ji from “Dynasty Warriors” has always been the best; superseded, of course, by the character of Kiriko (based on my wife who, coincidentally, also has the best ass in the non-virtual world). Nene surpasses Zhen Ji though, in that she somehow doesn’t seem to wear any underwear. My plan is to repeat the games of Toyotomi Hideyoshi (as he has the power of finding extra gold) and then use the money he makes to spend on Nene, who I intend to make the most powerful character thanks to all the gold I make from her husband. Art imitates life, just like in “Dynasty Warriors 4 Empires” I need to find Kiriko, defeat her, be able to afford to hire her, and then train her to be a great warrior. It’s just like real life, but without all the bullshit.