I have a sty in my eye. It’s been there over 2 months and has grown to the size of a small baby’s nostril. These days, unless I require a scalpel or desire some perception fucking-up drugs, I go to a Traditional Chinese doctor; so I went to a Chinese doctor, as my friends were telling me I looked revolting (and the bloated sty wasn’t making it any better, ha ha ha ha ha).
This doctor always has the same line – “No alcohol and no ‘fire’ food” (no fried, or spicy, food). Usually I take his advice for a day or two, then consider myself on the road to recovery, but this time, considering the sheer magnitude of my affliction, I stayed stone, cold sober for 8 days straight. For those of you who don’t know – it wasn’t actually that bad. The nights were sensible, which is pretty much a crime against humanity, but the mornings were fine and dandy. I’ve woken up every day sharp and ready to lay the world, one at a time.
All in all, it was a pleasant diversion. All in all, impregnating the planet one filly at a time is all good and well, but there’s a time when sheer abandon needs to be given free reign. And that time, well, frankly, is now. And the next time the question poses itself, the answer will also be "now".
________________________________________________
This doctor always has the same line – “No alcohol and no ‘fire’ food” (no fried, or spicy, food). Usually I take his advice for a day or two, then consider myself on the road to recovery, but this time, considering the sheer magnitude of my affliction, I stayed stone, cold sober for 8 days straight. For those of you who don’t know – it wasn’t actually that bad. The nights were sensible, which is pretty much a crime against humanity, but the mornings were fine and dandy. I’ve woken up every day sharp and ready to lay the world, one at a time.
All in all, it was a pleasant diversion. All in all, impregnating the planet one filly at a time is all good and well, but there’s a time when sheer abandon needs to be given free reign. And that time, well, frankly, is now. And the next time the question poses itself, the answer will also be "now".
________________________________________________
Commissioned portrait went very well. The client told me I was great and gave me cash money and I had a new order within 45 minutes. I am amazing, I knew it all along, even when I’m not, I’m sure I am.
5 comments:
Yes you are.
Russell, I think everyone would agree, you are even better.
You are a god among men, really.
I just realized I could make my name not be Anonymous. Boo for the sty. Yay for sobriety! (What does it all mean? What's the sty status now?)
2 weeks on, the sty is about a quarter of the size it was, and is now skin colour. Thanks doc.
I guess clean living IS all it's cracked up to be.
Or so I've been told.
Post a Comment