The Twins effect

I feel it is time I introduced some of my idols.
I would like to start with Twins. Twins are a Hong Kong pop duo who make mindless pop tunes and bland movies and are the cash cows for and aggressive and downright scary multimedia conglomerate called “Empire Entertainment Group” (EEG) who ‘own’ a lot of the major HK stars plus a variety of businesses.
I, like the rest of Hong Kong, love Twins. I, like the rest of Hong Kong, can’t decide which of them is better for me. I’ve always had the gut feeling that Ah Giu (Gillian Chung – B&W photo) was better for me, yet I would somehow end up with Ah Sa (Charlene Choi – colour photo).
I never really liked them, until one day I was on a plane and saw a movie starring Ah Sa, and in the movie she was a pretentious little teenager trying to seduce a staid lawyer, and when I saw her naked shoulders and back I realized how great Twins really are. From then, I always thought Ah Sa was the cuter of the two, and Ah Giu was a little boring-looking, till I invited myself to a Biotherm press-launch they were appearing in.
My friend told me they would be doing the event, so I thought it would be amusing to show up and pretend I was a magazine photographer and see what would happen. I ended up spending about 6 hours photographing them.
I took the photos here, plus about 800 others. Ah Sa (colour), who was so beautiful in the movies, looked the same in every photo, and seemed lost during the whole, disturbing ordeal. Ah Giu (B&W), who I thought was so plain before, turned out to be so enchanting in person, and so amazingly photogenic and beautiful.
The day really was odd. They showed up about an hour late. It’s really tiring to jostle for an hour in a contained crowd of about 40 photographers, each trying to hold their own precious spot. The photographers were getting restless. Unlike me, they were there for a genuine job, and they had other genuine jobs to get to afterwards, so the delay was really screwing up their schedule. Then I chanced to see Twins’ schedule, and I realized for the first time what a job it was. They had appearances all day, combined with video shoots, training, etc etc. This may not seem like a hard job when you imagine it, but when I saw it in front of me it was kind of shocking.
We were in a restaurant that had been hired for the day for this product launch. There was a makeshift stage set up with the Biotherm logo plastered all over it. There was a section directly in front of the stage for the press. There was a section to the left reserved for more formal studio shots. Next to this was a table reserved for spoken interviews. To the right was an area for the staff involved to wait, and behind this was closed off – for make-up and various behind-the-scenes activities. Behind the press was a long no-mans-land, and beyond that, near the entrance, was a long line of specially invited fans.
There was a not very inspired intro act involving cute children and two MCs, just to warm us up and remind us of how great Biotherm is. Then, finally, Twins appeared. I, and the rest of the press gang, launched in will full gusto; then the crowd of fans joined in, screaming things like “I love you” and “beautiful girl” in Cantonese. It was creepy. The girls looked up and waved sheepishly at the fans. They knew as well as I did that the fans didn’t really “love” them. The fans didn’t even know them. Suddenly, I wished I wasn’t a part of this.
The next couple of hours was a pretty well-rehearsed set of events, mixed with photo opportunities, where Twins introduced the wonders of Biotherm, which included a cute act where they applied make-up to each other, and a lucky draw where one of the press guys won a big bag of Biotherm products. These guys are real pros, I thought, as I shot away, full of beans like a rabid dingo let loose on a chicken farm during a full moon.
Afterwards, they did the professional shoot. I think anyone who asked got to shoot them with proper studio lights in a sectioned-off area, but I’d stretched my luck so far, and tricked and lied to so many people’s faces I thought it would be best not to get involved in this. I stuck around though while most reporters left, and made it to the interview section, where I could even walk up to them and touch them if I wanted to. I didn’t, of course. They made eye contact with me a few times. In my fevered imagination I assumed they were fascinated and gradually falling in love with this exotic stranger, but in reality I must assume they were just wondering why there was a white man there. At one moment I imagined I read their mind, and they said “he was sent on a job, but doesn’t know who we are, and doesn’t care, but that is okay, because none of the others care either, and neither should I.”

Soon after this experience, the tabloids reported that Ah Giu (B&W) was dating a famous local swimmer-turned-pop-star. My friend told me that it was just a publicity exercise though, and it turned out to be true, because later that week I had a dream I went to a party, and Twins showed up, and Ah Giu told me in person that the relationship wasn’t real. In telling me, she was also indirectly saying that she was single, and might be interested in me.

So, that is it. Today, I bought 3 Twins albums. They are great. They come in big boxes full of photos and coupons and samples of products that Twins sponsor, plus extra things like Twins towels, karaoke bar photo frames and Pot-Noodles rulers. I adore them unreservedly. I just wish the music wasn’t so mainstream.