I can't believe it's only me that does this.
When I'm walking down the street I comment on everyone I see in my head. I'm a pretty kind person on the outside, but inside my head I'm wicked. Things like "Better spend a little more time at the gym, and less time at the grocery store, you fat cow" if I see a large person carrying groceries, or "Hey look, it's a radical, Muslim cleric" if I see anyone with a beard. It's all, frankly, childish and amusing.
The other day, however, there was a stupid, stupid woman in front of me while I was crossing the road. At the other side she stopped and, I guess, took a little time with herself to think about what the fuck she was doing. The problem was, when she stopped she blocked my access to the sidewalk, leaving me standing in the road, legitimate prey for any vehicle that now had right of way. I had to walk sideways and squeeze between her and the railing to get to relative safety. As usual I had a barrage of abuse for her in my head, but in this case it came out, out loud, in real life, for all to hear. I think it was something like, "Get the fuck out of my way, bitch." She kind of deserved it, as I really could have died (well, extremely unlikely, but there was a very, very minute possibility). The point is, though, that I didn't mean to say it, I just meant to think it in my head, but it came out. I guess I'm getting sloppy. Maybe I now need to curb my extravagant and highly amusing abuse.
Sonofacunt.
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This is, by the way, a cheap Trilby I own, not my Stetson.
2 comments:
You're not the only one who does stuff like that.
What I constantly do is evaluate older ladies that I see walking around and think to myself either one of two things:
1) I want to be like that when I'm old.
2) If I dress like that when I'm old, I hope someone shoots me.
Yes! If I see older people and they look good I try to pick up some tips. It's important. There's nothing better than being old AND looking sharp. (If they're younger than me I hate them no matter what).
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