All the pussy you want

I went to the gym today after a 7 week break due to traveling and having a stupid, stupid cold. The gym is a fascinating microcosm. I watched a hapless man try to chat to a girl on a treadmill. She was half his height and maybe half his age. At the end he gave a pathetic punch in the air as if to say “Okay, get back to your work-out”. Fortunately she’d already put her headphones back on and was staring out the window. He was old enough to have realized he is a loser by now but, like my friend English Richard used to say – “If you don’t shoot, you can’t score”.
On the way down the escalator I saw another man leaning on the reception counter, staring out the side of his eyes at a girl’s ass, chewing gum with a look of contempt in his eyes. I bet he gets all the pussy he wants. If I ever have a son I’m going to teach him how to get girls – just treat them like dirt, and when you get them in bed make sure you give them a good fucking. Like Lisa Bonet said in Angelheart – “It’s always a bad ass that makes a girl’s heart beat faster”. Like Leonard Cohen said – “No man ever got a woman back by getting on his knees and begging”. Like I always say – “A man never becomes king by asking for it politely”. If my son is lucky like me he’ll find a good girl or boy and stick with them; but if not I really hope he doesn’t go around hoping for miracles. Well, what does it matter? If he’s worth his salt he’ll just do the opposite of whatever I tell him anyway.