If I had to choose just one man to be, just one man that represents all the best qualities that I desire, I would choose Lyle Lovett. He is everything a man should be.I have a Stetson. I bought it in Albuquerque while I was visiting my baby-doll in Santa Fe. I had fake snakeskin boots, blue jeans and a Stetson hat, and I felt like a real man. I stood up straight and, although I could take any man down, I was polite and charming. I belonged in that hat, in those boots, with that big sky stretched out above me and True Love Ways on the car stereo. I didn’t need any of you, I was complete.
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I don't know who I'd like to be, but the only hat I have that fits me makes me look like a Lithuanian pimp when I wear it. I suspect that almost any hat, bar perhaps a beret, would have the same effect on me.
Human rights aside, did you ever think of going to Eastern Europe and whoring the men and women there? Perhaps it is a calling. If you do go, I highly recommend “Pimp: The Story of My Life” by Robert Beck (aka Iceberg Slim). It’ll teach you all about how to handle yourself and your bitches.
No, I didn't. I'm far too lazy for that sort of thing, though I'll read the book: you never know when that sort of knowledge will come in handy.
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